I use controlling behaviour and need help to change
We’re glad you’re here…
It’s a very difficult thing to admit that you are abusing your partner or former partner. The fact that you’re here hopefully means that you want to change; that you want a better future for yourself and those close to you. We’d like you to know that help is available and you’ve come to the right place.
If you would like to speak to someone about what to do next, you can contact Bradford Reset on 0800 915 9357, or you can contact a national helpline called Respect on 0808 802 4040.
You can find out more about the services Respect provides on their website.
Spotting the signs
Abuse in a relationship is when you try to control someone, hurt them or force them to do things they don’t want to.
This can be done in many different ways and it isn’t always obvious.
Types of abusive behaviour:
- Abuse may start with name calling but can escalate over time into physical violence.
- Violence (hitting, kicking, slapping)
- Emotional (humiliating and putting your partner down)
- Sexual (forcing your partner to do sexual acts they don’t want to or posting intimate pictures of them online)
- Financial (controlling money, taking out loans in your partner’s name)
Here are some more signs. If you think ‘yes, that’s me’ then you can choose to change and get the help you need.
- Are you jealous? Do you constantly need to know where your partner is?
- Does it make you angry when they want to spend time with friends or family?
- Do you have strong opinions about what they wear or who they see?
- Do you call them names and put them down?
- Have you ever threatened to hurt yourself if they say they want to leave the relationship?
- Do you text them excessively?
- Do you monitor their calls and emails?
- Do you continue to use drugs and alcohol even though you know that these can escalate an argument and your partner is concerned what will happen when you are under the influence
- Do you ever use force in an argument – including using your physical presence to intimidate?
- Do you think they are responsible for your problems or feelings?
- Do you force them to do anything they don’t want to?
And now the next steps, a few things you could do to start perhaps a different life for you and for those close to you.
If you would like to speak to someone about what to do next, you can contact Bradford Reset on 0800 915 9357, or you can contact a national helpline called Respect on 0808 802 4040.
You can find out more about the services Respect provides on their website.